加拿大Essay写作如何避免句子冗长？

可能我们很多加拿大留学生都会以为把句子写的越长越好，其实不然，一旦有这样的想法进行加拿大Essay写作的时候就会犯一个很常见的错误——句子冗长（Wordy Sentence）。留学生们要记住，句子越长越好，也不是越短越好。那么如何判定你是否犯了句子冗长（Wordy Sentence的错误呢？任何长句可以修改为短句而你却依然使用长句，那么你就是犯了“句子冗长”的毛病。大家会问，出现这个问题应该怎么办呢？下文中留学写作网就告诉大家几个方法，以此来避免在加拿大Essay写作中出现句子冗长的问题。

加拿大essay写作

1. 去除不必要的词 （Eliminate redundacies）

Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist.

修改之后：Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.

Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin.

修改之后：Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on a greasy napkin. 因为 scribble 就有“匆忙”的意思。

2. 避免没有必要的重复（Avoid unnecessary repetition of words）

Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.

修改之后：Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill.

A study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (2004) studied the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.

修改之后：A study by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation (2004) measured the effects of diet and exercise on childhood obesity.

3. 空洞的词组不要用（Cut empty or inflated phrases）

We are unable to provide funding at this point in time.

修改之后：We are unable to provide funding now.

以下总结了大家非常喜欢用的空洞的词组（为了凑字数，左边红色的），但其实是可以选择更加简洁漂亮的词组或者单词的（右边黑色的），希望大家在paper写作的时候要注意。

along the lines of like

as a matter of fact in fact

at all times always

at the present time now, currently

at this point in time now, currently

because of the fact that because

by means of by

by virtue of the fact that because

due to the fact that because

for the purpose of for

for the reason that because

have the ability to be able to, can

in light of the fact that because

in order to to

in spite of the fact that although, though

in the event that if

in the final analysis finally

in the nature of like

in the neighborhood of about

until such time as until

4. 精简句型（Simplify the structure）

 如果句型不够直接，说话拐弯抹角，就要注意想想能不能换一种更加直接的结构，还要注意可不可以强化动词，大家看看下面的句子怎么修改。

The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits.

修改之后：The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not estimate the company’s future profits.

Investigators were involved in examining the effect of classical music on unborn babies.

修改之后：Investigators examined the effect of classical music on unborn babies.

There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution.

修改之后：Another module tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution. 能不用 there be 句型就不要用。

5. 从句变短语，短语变单词

We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson.

修改之后：We took a side trip to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. 非限定性定语从句变成了同位语短语。

In the essay that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s claim that we should not lie under any circumstances, which is a problematic assertion.

修改之后：In this essay, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s problematic claim that we should not lie under any circumstances.